No awkward silences, please – 10 questions to ask on your first date

Article compiled by Bonolo Sekudu and first published on News24 on the 15th of November 2022.
Photo: Shapecharge/Getty Images

  • Dating coach Leigh Joy Mansel-Pleydell has heard first date stories from men and women about how their date spoke non-stop, and they couldn’t get a word in. 
  • Here are 10 conversational questions to ask on a first date.
  • These questions are not to interrogate your date but to be a gentle ease into getting to know each other better.

Who wants awkward silence when out on a first date? No one. Can you imagine staring at the ceiling or your nails and constantly looking at your watch because you don’t know what to say to the stranger in front of you?

To avoid the anxiety of being ghosted after the unpleasant date or blowing the chance of a second better preparation could help. Not that you should have a notepad, but these are questions you can have in mind.

Dating coach Leigh Joy Mansel-Pleydell has heard first date stories from men and women about how their date spoke non-stop, and they couldn’t get a word in. 

When she asks them what stopped them from saying something, they say things like, “I felt overwhelmed by my date’s inability to engage with me out of their own” or “I don’t feel comfortable inserting myself into a conversation. I want my date to be self-aware enough to show interest in me too.”

 

Leigh Joy recommends that you prepare a set of questions ahead of the date, like the ones below.

These questions will be conversation starters and help you get to know each other well.  “Having a set of questions could feel awkward at first, but once we talk about ourselves, we tend to loosen up. 

“Both can answer these questions, or each person can answer one question each. Getting to know someone formally and with the guidance of these questions can highlight some interesting aspects of your date you wouldn’t ordinarily know.”

10 conversational questions to ask on a first date

1. What is the most attractive thing for you in a partner?

2. Since being single, what are you most grateful for?

3. If you were to be a parent, what would you do differently from your parents?

4. Given the choice of anyone, alive or deceased, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

5. If you were famous, what would it be for?

6. What is a “perfect” day for you?

7. What was the last song you danced and sang aloud to?

8. If you could wave a magic wand, what would you wish for? 

9. What is your favourite book, and why should everyone read it?

10. If you could live in a new city for a year, which would it be and why?

“These questions are not to interrogate your date but to be a gentle ease into getting to know each other better,” she adds. 

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