Anger as a form of grieving in lockdown

As a self-care coach my practice is filled with beautiful souls in pain, grieving, angry, sad and in shock due to the effects of COVID-19.

This got me thinking about the brilliant Dr Elizabeth Kubler-Ross the American-Swiss Psychiatrist whose famous study of the family of the elderly and their 5 stages of grief as a way to come to terms with the death of their loved ones.

During lockdown there is a lot of things we are all grieving.  Some are grieving lost income, some have lost loved ones, some miss their friends and family, some are lonely, some are totally overworked.  No matter our situation we are all struggling with some form of grief.  Often I see how grief is like a tidal wave.  All the unhealed parts of us grow into this massive wave of sadness threatening to drown us all at once.  

Dr Kubler-Ross defined 5 stages of grief:
  1. Shock or denial
  2. Anger
  3. Sadness and depression
  4. Bargaining
  5. Acceptance
At first we were all in shock about the lockdown and how this was going to affect our lives.  The next wave of emotion is currently anger.  People are angry for a whole lot of different reasons.  But angry we are.  If we learn to embrace and sit with our feelings of anger and not spew them onto others and rather fashion a cup from within us to nourish ourselves we will have grown as a collective.  The human race will have made a giant leap forward.  It’s easy to project our anger onto others.  The compassionate way is to sit with it, journal about all of it and then give ourselves permission to feel all these feelings and not act on them.  With time the anger will subside and dissipate.  But be sure not to turn that anger inward because that would be the beginning of stage 3 depression in Kubler-Ross’s 5 stages of grief.  

Should you be experiencing any of these difficult feelings and needing some support.  Please feel free to contact me.  I have a team of Leigh Joy Inspired trained coaches who are able to assist you in your journey back to wholeness and acceptance through self-care coaching and workshops for individuals or corporates.

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